If Cats Could Talk, They Wouldn’t

Howdy! Over Thanksgiving break, I had to leave my cat at my apartment alone. Don’t worry, she had the automatic feeder going and she’s learned how to wiggle her paw up inside it to knock out some extra morsels when she’s hungry, or bored, or feeling extra vindictive. Okay, I’m not going to pretend, my cat is a jerk.


There she is, my lump of a feline Aly. She’s a pretty cat but good lord is she a little sass monster. A few years ago when my sister, myself, and Aly were all still living at home, there was an incident. My sister was coming downstairs to go do her daily do when Aly spotted her, booked it across the room, the proceeded to pee on my sister’s shoes. She waited until she saw my sister watching to pee on her shoes.

Now that incident may have been fueled by my sister’s cats living with us and Aly being able to smell them on her shoes, but I’m still impressed by her gutsiness. You can only imagine the longstanding feud she had going with our outside cat. Let’s just say adding the deck and screen door was not a good move for anybody.

This cat has also been known to eat a fish or two in her time. At one point her reign of terror became so bad my sister named her beta Aly Don’t Eat That. I’m guessing you can figure out why.

Though she loves to sing me the song of her people in the wee hours of the morning and has yet to relent on the whole don’t sit on the couch issue, Aly’s still my bud. Whenever I’m sitting on the floor, which is more often than you’d think, she likes to be right there with my, preferably with a paw resting somewhere on me.


Like how stinking cute is that? We’re basically holding hands. Anyway, she’s been mega vocal since I’ve been home so it only seemed right that I dedicate a post to her. She’s an asshole, but she’s my asshole. That’s all I’ve got today so I’ll see you when I see you! Have a nice day and if you have an animal, give it a pat for me.


Today’s title comes from Nan Porter.


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